Seth-a-Rooney-booney is 2!!

Saturday Seth-a-roo turned two!!!!

Man I love my little Boone!

He’s a pistol & We sure love him! 

We birthday’d in the morning and worked on the rail a little too. 

It’s a bit of a tight squeeze...even if you’re built like Isaac...so I haven’t been up there 🤣

That day I had a bridal shower to go to (so fun to see ward friends and visit) and we went to Brother Rogers funeral that afternoon. It was really nice, he was a great man, and lived a great life. Isaac was a good speaker too. That day was also the big online Roots tech conference. I watched one on journaling...nice to know I have a strength 😉 and we all watched Elder Holland’s keynote...gosh we love him. And his love for Southern Utah matches my own! 

That night we finished the railing!!!! Wahoo!! Finally!! 

Sunday was HORRIBLE -and that’s an understatement! Not only was it one month (I’ve always said pregnancy goes so slow but once ya get them here times goes flying by...but when you don’t really get’m yet -it feels slower than pregnancy.) So it was Riz’s one month birthday and someone from church text Isaac that our friends were having their baby. 5th kid. Little boy. I get it, people are going to continue to have babies and I am happy for them but it was more than my empty arms could take!! Still not sure why Isaac told me. Oh well. He’ll learn, and I’ll get better. 

I mustered the strength to fake it through church-and was glad I went but the rest of the day was a wash. I had a nap and woke up genuinely physically sick. Some friends had invited us over for dinner-I sent my family and stayed home. It was a horrible day anyway so I finally emptied the hospital bag-I mean we used it already and all but ...all we did was throw burial clothes on top. Ug. But it needed to be done. I found the little blue and white blanket the Afghans for Angels people had made and decided I should write the lady who made it a thank you note. I did. President Monson always preached and attitude of gratitude, but it really worked.  It was the only thing that made me feel any better at all. 

By Monday things were starting to dry out a little-finally-

So Seth and I tried to turn our brown van back to white. He makes enough messes it’s good to put this kid to work! 

We hung out with the Pettit’s but Cann and Cohen got in a wreck riding home from school. Cohen definitely got the worst of it. Poor guy. Cann was like oh I landed on my hands...



The kids and I were reading a hilarious book when the crash boys came in ☹️

Haven had asked me to read it but the crowd just kept growing. 

The next morning we tended while Cohen got his chipped tooth fixed. Haven was so proud to be big enough to hold Seth. Ha! 

Better weather this week, thank heaven. My best friend from forever sent some sunshine too. So fun. 

It wasn’t a great week to not have a washer. I did a few batches at Michaila’s to limp along  but then Colt -who had been the last man standing-fell too. He puked all over his bed and Tanners...I sent 3 batches to the laundromat with Isaac on his way to work. But we’ve had lots of fun brother time at home. 

And we’re ultra excited to finally have the new washer and dryer!



Yesterday I curled my hair just so I could feel like I did something besides clean up puke. I didn’t leave the house.  It was about 10 minutes Before I put it back in a ponytail, and in 20 more most of the curl had fallen out. But it’s so rare Tan and I figured we should document it 😉

Tonight we’re on our way to KC with plans to ski tomorrow 

Sethy is super excited to go swimming too. We told the kids it was “only” a 3 hour drive but I think we should have told them we were going through the night-it’s been nothing but “Are we there yet?”

We did make the trip a little extra long by stopping in Milan to look at headstones. 

But hopefully I have lots of fun spring break stories next week! 🤞🏻

I have good days and not so good days-Wednesday I was great. Today has been rough. 

I’ve read some really good things this week —this was one of them: 

Surely the God who gave your child life in the first place can do it again. 

I liked that! 

Easter will come!! 

Seth will turn 2 tomorrow.

But today is the 26th. 

One month since that appointment with the quiet Doppler and silent ultrasound. And...

February 26. 

3 years exactly since the first time I left Dr Speak’s office after not hearing a heartbeat. This is hard-but that was hard too. It’s different but ultimately the same. 

I never thought I’d tell anyone but...I have here and there-And now I just did. 

I wanted that one to be named Landon. So in my heart he is. There’s a million more things I could say-I’ve thought about all of it-even typed some out-but I think for now I’ll just go with the normal stuff. 

Like normal life here: 

Like we have a saw set up. Upstairs. On the carpet. It saved a million trips up and down the stairs but still completely freaks me out...

There’s a door to outside just a few feet away. It’s still cold out though (although the 30’s feel great after last week) 

We worked on the loft project Saturday-I thought it was really good of me to suck it up and help. I did it cuz it was Isaac’s birthday the next day-and I even learned how to use his saw. The measure 50 times, and hum and ha, and combine my sewing tape measure with his little square rinky dink instead of going getting what he needed, and just the trial & error because we really don’t know what we’re doing-it’s all part of the project to Isaac and learning to figure it out and make it work-he loves it-it’s second nature to him... it drives me absolutely crazy!!! Isaac thought it was good family time. ...Sure we can go with that. 😉 As soon as you peel me off the ceiling. Yikes! 

The kids had the primary face to face that was fun. And Colt and Tan got to go to a birthday party that afternoon.  Then it was back to the project😬. We were hoping to finish tonight, well just the railing part, but it’s not going to happen.  Saturday the boys talked Isaac into letting them have a “sleepover” upstairs. I went bonkers on him when he told them they had to use sleeping bags and couldn’t turn on a heater. We’ve since had several discussions about the “do without culture” and when that is a positive thing and when it’s not. I think we’re moving in the right direction. (Because he did go up and  turn on a heater for them.) 

But that night I heard crying from up there...and Tanner had puked ALL OVER! Like 5 different places—He walked right past the bathroom door and puked on the stairs. Ug! At first I just thought he’d eaten too much junk at the birthday party but... that would’ve ended a lot sooner. Darn. So I had lots of clean up and he spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. 

He, Seth, and I skipped church but it was the first time our ward had zoomed it so we watched. But ultimately the plague had begun. 

So far Colt’s the only one to avoid it. Thankfully it’s consistently been just a 24 hour thing but-not fun. And it messes up the week, the routine-as if we had one-but everything! 

Anyway I have a few other pics. But not much. 

We lost Sis Sillito to transfers Tuesday but had Dennis and the missionaries over Monday before she left. They brought a cute little sign that says “Faith does not make things easy it makes them possible.” And some flowers. So sweet. 

When the snow melts...we get mud! And we have lots of it. 

Seth is a pretty good helper, they were putting together Isaac’s new shop stool he got for his birthday. 



Tan is rocking sounding things out. If it’s phonetic he can pretty much get it! 

Cannon has no idea how much influence he has as the older brother-but these guys sure love their pretend glasses. 

And this kid LOVES laundry!!! It’s something else! 

And if I hide the stools he uses his four wheeler! I have enough laundry to do we have hours of entertainment...but I think yesterday the washer finally died for real (lifting the lid a thousand extra times and making it stop couldn’t have helped 😏 but it has been TIRED for a long time...and leaks every load and sometimes spins sometimes doesn’t) the new one was supposed to be here last week but it didn’t come—hopefully first of next week or I’ll be hitting the laundry mat! 

And we made this boy a cake today—pics next week!! 

But right now I better wrap a couple presents or I’ll be in trouble tomorrow. 😉

I peaced out on a Facebook shortly after we found out I was pregnant. I just remembered wasting so much time scrolling through nothing when I was pregnant with Seth up at night and such and I didn’t want to do that again. So I quit and my time frame was at least until our little brother gets here—well I guess I’m never going back. I might miss a few things here and there but overall I’m just happy I don’t waste any of my life on it. In August Isaac and Colt decided they were going to learn Portuguese and go to Brazil (after thanksgiving. Obviously they didn’t)  but as they practiced Portuguese with an app I was like oh crud I’m getting left behind here (kinda fine with it kinda not) so anyway I started filling the sleepless or just itchy nights with Portuguese lessons on duolingo. I currently have a 128 day streak of at least one little lesson  a night. They started it when Isaac was using my old phone so now we call it the duolingo phone. Today Seth-a-roo deleted Duolingo off of that phone! Stinker! Isaac got it restored and kept my streak alive-good work Honeybear. I think he wants me to go to Brazil with them if they go. 🤣 There’s a lot better chance of that if I felt like I could communicate at least a little! 

The week is a bit of a blur. I volunteered Isaac to be “the Uber ride” for Cannon’s teammates that needed a ride to b-ball last week. I really did check with him first but we both forgot it was stake conference and he had the leadership mtg. So “sure Isaac will pick you up” turned into me. I wasn’t really ready to go back to basketball but it kinda forced me to, it was ok...I was really glad Michaila was there. A little mix up on game times had us sitting there for a while! But we were able to chat and I just pretended I wasn’t around a lot of people. 

Seth got away from me one time and when I picked him up off the edge of the court one of Cannons friends dad said something like  “you got enough of’m it doesn’t matter if one gets away” or something like that. I just kept my eyes on Seth and said “not any more” and walked away. He didn’t mean anything by it but I thought this is why I shouldn’t be here yet!! Oh well. Tomorrow’s games got canceled-they played a little scrimmage tonight and that’s the wrap on this basketball season—and I’m great with it. 

After b-ball last week we dropped the kids off at the Pettit’s and Michaila’s sister tended all 10 kids! My kids love Corinne like she’s their aunt too! 

They had a blast and we enjoyed conference! The adult session is always the best one! It was super fun to have Stake Conference here in Kirksville too. Illinois has way tighter restrictions than Missouri so they did it here-cuz they could! 

No school again Monday and Tuesday because of the arctic freeze! It’s been been super super cold. But one way fun thing that happened is the boys were home when the mail man brought this huge box with these fun blankets my friends from high school and growing up had sent.

They call them their Riz blankets and they LOVE them. It was perfect to get them when it was so extra cold here too. They also sent pic of me holding Riz.

I love it. (I should take a pic you can’t see the shadow in but...you get the idea) Ultimately I’ll hang it in my room by the  “I am a child of God” pics but right now it’s hanging in the living room! Another friend sent a picture of the Savior holding a baby I love it too. And the one Kami sent last week, and the temple pic-I just need to figure our where I want things. People are so nice and thoughtful! 

I’ve been thinking about Tan and the come follow me lesson about the  lost manuscript pages. I blogged about it then, but as I told the story I probably pointed at my belly 4 or 5 times, my belly that had a moving and kicking around little brother in it. As we talked about Joseph and Emma’s baby dying, the thought of our baby dying was really unfathomable. Tanner must have sensed something. I dunno. 

Our efforts to teach our kids the scriptures are kicking our tail lately though. The boys asked if we could have another little brother? I said “No,  moms too old I’m almost 40!” Colt said “Do people stop having kids when they are 40?” I said “Yeah pretty much” to which he countered

“What about that one lady in the Bible? I thought she was like 79.”

I said “Oh I think you mean Abraham’s wife she was old.” (Maybe he meant John the Baptists mom Elizabeth-I don’t know) but I thought Sarah and smarted off  “She was old but she was Isaacs mom, I’m just dads wife!” I thought I was just a little witty and played it off,  but I’m not as witty as my 7 year old! He said “Oh! Then maybe Grandma Ison will have another baby.” 🤣 I didn’t even get it at first I was just happy they were off my back. But thought what are you talking about?  Grandpa Ison already died, then I realized he thought that because she is Isaac’s mom —I got a good laugh! 

What else? 

I dunno.

Did I admit to printing out blown up pics of Riz? MISTAKE -like I somehow forgot they couldn’t bathe him? Things didn’t look near as bad on my little phone screen! Oh boy-those prints went straight in the garbage! The good news is he does not look like that now! The bad news is we have to wait to see him. 

Going to the Dr last week gave me more to play over and over in my mind. For better or worse it’s what I do so -whatever! But I had a little ultrasound pic of his heart, I just really wanted him to show me what was what from when his heart was beating and he did-that was cool. (I was way off guessing)

And he reminded me that we heard his heartbeat lots of times there and it was good (it was always perfect never a concern...until it was gone.) But remembering all of the happy times was a good thing! I also asked...or probably accused is a better word but... accused him of knowing it was going to be way worse than I could ever imagine, to which he just kindof shrugged and said “There is no way I could’ve prepared you for that.” So I guess while ignorance was far from bliss it was probably better than knowing what I was getting into. I am certain I know exactly why pioneer graveyards are full of moms & babies. 

But we Survived it...and now we just gotta survive day to day! 

I hate everything that is “easier” because he’s not here-all the things I worried about like: potty training, when I bit that off at 36 weeks just sitting in the bathroom waiting for Seth to pee with my huge belly, well now it’s easy I don’t have a huge belly and he goes when he needs to. Or hiking up the driveway hill when the van doesn’t  make it in the snow. Or picking up the kids from school, Or even a trip to Walmart-or any store not that I go out much but I was just so paranoid about Isreal and Seth being our two closest kids and how am I going to do this -or that or whatever- when our little brothers here...and now it’s like how am I supposed to do that without him? Is it easier? Technically yes but no!!!!!! Not emotionally! 

What else...I think if you lose a baby you should get to lose baby weight by crying! But that’s not working so I did get on the treadmill this week. 

These two are popcorn eating buddies. Seth loves to help his dad-look close at the back of the skid steer, there’s Seth out there when they had to use the van to jump the skid steer to scrape the driveway in the middle of that arctic freeze nonsense. Glad that’s over! 

The only other things I can think of is we worked on the loft project a little more. And Thursday we had Dennis and the missionaries over for a little bible study-it was good! We have good missionaries and we love Dennis-he's a great guy. Did I already tell about him getting to one of his fields via the cemetery Riz is buried in? He kind of grinned and told me he checks on him. I loved that. 

Oh and this might be breach of trust...I was just impressed by his insight.  He’s a good kid. 

Well I think that’s about it. 

It’s Friday blog day and I got nuthin! 

Of course that’s a lie. 

I don’t have much though. 

But! I totally just had to fix the families are forever post about Riz’s birth/death because I don’t know how to spell my own child’s name. 🤦🏼‍♀️ That’s bad. My friend gave me the sweetest necklace-it has a charm with his name and then his birthstone. I LOVE IT!! She asked me today if it was spelled right and I literally had no idea. Good thing everyone is giving me a pass on life right now.  I just said it’s like it is in the Bible (but then I had to look and see what that was—note to self: Israel it’s not spelled is real, that should help me remember right?)  The necklace is right. 😊

And a really sweet friend in our ward who buried a daughter 4 years ago sent me a song called Winter Bear. Look it up on YouTube (Coby Grant) if you want to bawl your eyes out. Dang it. But I love it. And I made a playlist with that and Be Still My Soul on it. It was playing and Tanner said “mom I have parts of this memorized!” I said “good! It’s good huh? We need it memorized!”

Lots of “random” yeah right-more like straight from Heaven!!! texts this week that people were still thinking about and praying for us. Some really thoughtful gifts too. 

We made valentine boxes this week. Cannon made his own with his brothers help-they were so proud. 

I made the other boys-but they got whatever they wanted! Even Seth-who had no need for a valentine box-wanted a dog one-ok you got it bud! 

Colts missing from the monkey box pic —oh well

His teacher got me one 👍🏻

I’m so sick of the stupid masks. 

It’s so dang cold here. (As I write it’s -2 but “feels like” -24) Monday and Tuesday they canceled school cuz of the road conditions. Sis Gilchrist had sent a box of goodies for the boys—it proved to be a life saver straight from heaven! Just little projects to break up the days! 

The fireplace isn’t really doing the trick this year but one night we just sat down around it where it was actually warm and ate choc chip cookies someone had given us. It was fun! 

The boys chopped and played. 

Wednesday we did a little bible study with our neighbor-we love him! 

Oh and the carpet guys came! The boys wanted carpet in the little area above Grama’s room for Christmas (and a climbing wall and a slide) well, of course super dad is going to make it happen! We bought the carpet (just a remnant but up there no one will see it so we didn’t care about the color) and pad before Christmas but we’ve been a little slow with the rest. 

The boys love it but after a blanket accidentally fell (and took Seth out as he was trying to walk up the stairs) I forbid them to go up there until Isaac gets the railing done. It’s too dangerous!!!! 

And the only other thing I can think of  is today  I had a Dr appointment. He told me while I was in the hospital they  like to follow up at 2 weeks to kindof screen for depression. (Someday if I ever blog the tender mercies Dr Speak will be at the  top of the list, we love him, and have since he delivered Tanner, so of course I was going to be cooperative with whatever the protocol was) With that side note in parenthesis what  I wanted to say was: seriously wouldn’t you think something was wrong with me if I wasn’t at least somewhat depressed? I feared those stupid worksheets (they did make me fill one out at the hospital-so lame-) But the appointment wasn’t like that at all. It was good-just chatting with the Dr. asking questions. He’s very professional but we know he was heartbroken for us too. I was terrified to go back to his office, but I walked in the door and they seriously had me back in a room without me even breaking stride. I was glad cuz I was nervous about sitting there amongst the pregnant gals waiting. But it was a non issue. I had Isaac come with me just cuz I was so scared (his first time ever) and I was glad he was there, even driving to the office was pretty dang tough.

But it was really good to ask a few questions, kindof compartmentalize a little bit and feel like ok I’m good, or maybe I’m normal not being good, I’ll probably always be a little broken, but I can move forward. The first thing he asked me is if I was getting better everyday? I was like um NO, it’s still pretty dang fresh. But after chatting with him for 45 min I feel like we’re facing the right direction and we’ll start moving in the right direction too. 👍🏻 And he let me take my mask off. 👍🏻

Oh and they did find some some infection (some big ole 17 or so letter word that ended itis) in the placenta-not in the cord though-he said its not for sure why he died but it was at least a maybe...

And Since Michaila was tending (Seth never even cried 😊🙌🏻) Isaac and I grabbed a cheesecake date after the doc appointment before we headed back to grab the kids and normal life. Probably better call that our valentines date! 

Anyway 

But that’s about it. If I think of anything else I’ll have to add it later I’m falling asleep.