Well it’s been a heck of a week—and then I got the text last night that Grandma Cottam passed away. Dang but so happy for her. We haven’t been there since August but I’m thankful to have several pictures of her with my boys and thanks to technology we saw her just Monday! We Marco’d with her and she said in her normal happy voice “Hi, how are you this fine day?” And while her battle has been long and slow with dementia the really rough part was pretty quick. And I’m sure my little Riz man was there to meet her too! 

That’s a pretty tender thought. 

And I think my mom told me she actually passed when Be Still My Soul was playing. Think of that “joyful end” 

Anyway my little Seth-a-roo he’s such a ray of sunshine in my life. We call Israel Rizzy-roo cuz one nickname of Riz is not enough for me. Ha. But this week Seth started calling me “Mommy-roo” I think it’s so sweet. But his brothers have also taught him to whine “pwweeeease” when he doesn’t get what he wants...not as cute. Tan man has been struggling for weeks now but sometimes I forget how long the grieving lasts-for all of us. This week I walked past him and Isaac chatting about life and such Isaac was just trying to get him to be happier, just not so ornery -about EVERYTHING we’ll play at friends then as soon as it’s time to go he says he didn’t have ANY fun but he’d been playing gleefully for hours-but anyway I walked by him talking to Isaac and he said “I would rather live in heaven with Riz than on earth.” It’s crazy because I should know this but it was like a light bulb went on for me and I realized the little grouch is really just a grieving 5 year old big brother. Poor guy. Afterward I tried harder than I usually would have for some one on one good quality time with him. A few extra snuggles on the couch, a little baseball while Seth napped today-that kinda thing. 

Today was a pretty good day, but it started a long time ago and I am tired!

So real quick a few pics

These two rode to the cemetery with me Sat! They both made it up the last hill too-more than I can say for my first time! 

And trying to dip out of the swimming pool...

But look at that M the Mighty Mo is getting ready to go! Isaac is oblivious to how much of his time and energy and focus goes into that stupid pump truck-its ok because he enjoys it so much but sufficed to say I do NOT. 

Little reading buddies! 

Second only to his dad on his love of working on the pump truck. 

This was from an old CFM lesson and I wanted to throw it away but I had to grab a picture first  we were talking about how we’re all different but we’re 1 family...I loved how Cannons said “and some in heaven”

Wednesday the kids had early out and we brought Cohen home with us he really went on the zip line they built themselves! Cannon was a no go even after watching Cohen several times—it’s because he bravely did it the other day but it didn’t turn out so well...they’ve done a few improvements since then. 🤣

Seth snatches the duo lingo phone any chance he gets. 

The weathers been awesome we jump and eat popsicles any chance we get 😉

Not pregnant-no nursing baby..

https://youtube.com/shorts/PkXfpIj7lN4?feature=share

Take that almost 40...sometimes I like to pretend I’m younger than I am 🤣🤣

April snow showers

Riz would probably look something like this if he were here. 12 weeks- I miss him, even though he never got to come. 

I think they all look pretty similar-Seth can tell them all apart! 

Saturday we had the Bryant kids over (thank Heaven it was fight city before they got here) but Isaac and Sherrida were both tied up with the Youth activity. 

(Mia was the “dead man” in the above pic) 

I didn’t say anything about Ren helping Cannon with baseball that afternoon (I was waiting to see what happened behavior-wise) but Drake told Cannon and he was pumped! They of course had to get all decked out. That Can Man he likes to look the part. 🤣 and we did get to go to the fields later that afternoon. 

I think Cannon is pretty coachable as long as it’s not me. And really all week I’ve heard “Brother Bryant told me ...” so I’m happy we got a few of Ren’s rare not studying spare moments. 





Saturday I just kept taking pictures and sending them to Sherrida-I was really just trying to brighten her day with some fun pics of some kids she loves but it totally got me in the picture taking mode. (I’m sure she loves the youth too it’s just different and hard.) Anyway So Sunday morning when everyone was all suited up I was at it again! I’ve wanted to update the pictures on my wall for a while now. I was going to go with matchy matchy blue shirts but...they just looked so sharp in their suits...and really I can change it any time I want. I take the pics myself and print them at Costco for $4 and these guys were totally willing for the small price of a sucker! SOLD! I threw in a piece of gum as a bonus 😉

The little rainbow across Colt we figured was from a piece of glass in a window just to his right reflecting light into my lens but when I asked my friend about it she said maybe it was just a little love from Riz—I like that thought. I also screwed up the ones with all four of them because I forgot to change the aperture. Whoops-but hey Colt was in focus and if I put them on here small enough you can’t really tell how blurry they are...

“Deer Hunting” his favorite 👍🏻

The only problem with all our picture fun is I can’t for the life of me remember and figure out church starts at 11:30–I hate it on the :30 it just messes with me. So we fiddled around and literally drug our feet waiting for time to go cuz everyone was really and we walked out the door at 11:30. I was unphased, until we turned at the bowling alley and I glanced down at the clock and said “11:40!! Holy crap guys church started 10 minutes ago I’m an idiot!!” So we sped up and slipped in the back just in time for sacrament. But dang, church has not changed times since we got there in time for church to started at 11...but it doesn’t! Mix our way early with our way late and we’re perfect. Hmm.

But PRIMARY STARTED BACK UP!!! Man that was so good for the boys. I hadn’t even realized how badly we’d missed that. Come follow me Sunday night was AWESOME! It was just so good for them to be telling us about what they’d learned and hearing from someone else 🙌🏻🙌🏻 Tanner told me later in the week “know what mom? The songs we sing at primary are true-cuz I really am a child of God” ❤️

The rest of Sunday’s fun. 

My sweet and thoughtful friend gave me this beautiful gerbera daisey and some Hank CD’s  I was excited to plant it...but I should have waited. It survived the snow (we covered it) but not the hard freeze the second night  😔 maybe we’ll get the second blooms 🤞🏻



And the whole sitting on dads lap driving thing...it’s cuter when they’re 2. 

Tuesday we woke up to about 3 inches of snow. Tan had been so bummed we didn’t make a snowman this year so when he wanted to I said “game on. Let’s do it.” I told him it was awesome Heavenly Father had hooked him up with one last snow before summer so he would get to make a snowman and he said “miss Jill (preschool teacher) said the weather man sent it” ...hmmm...I talked him into thanking Heavenly Father for it anyway. 😉





We already had pretty big snowballs by the time we decided  to roll them around to the north side of the house so they would last longer. I told Tanner there was no way I could lift a snowball that big. (Isaac did teach me how to run the skid steer the other day though so I thought I kindof had a back up plan) but Tan came up with the idea to use this bench as a ramp.

It worked. Barely. But it worked. We (I) rolled it up just enough to get my knee under it then kindof inched it the rest of the way-I always tell Isaac I have tree trunks for legs-and riding the bike over to the cemetery is getting them stronger so- we put them to work! 






And one little snowman he made all by himself 

The snow was pretty much all melted by Tuesday afternoon and I hope it stays gone for a long time. 

I love it when the bigger kids read to the younger ones! 

And it’s just that time of year-it’s good to get outside!! Even if they’re crazy! 

Isaac has been painting on the pump truck more and tonight he fixed the mower so we’ll be back in the mow’n business. That’s about all I can think of for now. 

Blog day has snuck up on me-again. 

Saturday we had pouring rain all day! Not the best for when our cousins were here but we still had fun. 

Sethy had been telling Grama on the phone for WEEKS he wanted to go swimming for his birthday  so the plan was to go to Marceline while she was here.  But it is only open certain days this time of year and ended up being closed the day we were going to try to make it work. (Because of weather but it’s covered so???)  We ended up with a pretty fun back up plan at the local Hampton-I’d heard of people renting it for birthday parties and we decided to give it a shot! It was pretty fun. 



And we were super thankful to burn off a little energy on such a cold wet indoor day. The only bummer was ten minutes in Colt took a big old chunk out of his toe while pushing off the step-it was weird and it was bad. Grama took pics but I’ll spare ya 😉

Sunday Ky and Kami’s family headed for St. Louis and the airport as we headed to church. They had a disaster where their flight got delayed over and over and they didn’t even get in to Las Vegas until 2:00am or something like that and subsequently missed work the next day. It was a mess. My disaster was they handed out new ministering assignments at church and they had assigned me to be partners with my friend who has a little boy exactly one month younger than Riz. I can’t do that! I bawled all through church I was so upset! And why do we ask “how are ya?” to people in our society anyway? I hate that question and I just kept saying casually “hang’n in there” but really I wasn’t hanging in there at all-I was completely melting down. My mom tended while I stayed at church where the internet is more reliable and led the Zoom mtg RS discussion. It was horrible. I mean I think the discussion went ok but I was so rattled. I was a disaster. That whole deal- just reading my friends name on that paper-It was just like all of my faking it-that I usually pull off pretty well (at least I think I do) totally exposed. No I’m not ok! How am I? Horrible! I’m just a mom with empty arms and a broken heart! Anyway I’ll look at the pics but that is all I can remember from Sunday. Finally Monday I text our RS Pres and said I couldn’t do it. Oh I waited to say anything until I talked to Isaac Sunday night I said “hey don’t you have to approve ministering assignments?” He said “yeah” I was like “what the heck? Why would you approve that?” And he was like “Oh, I’m just looking for things that can’t happen.” I, a bawling, blubbering upset all day mess said “well this CANT HAPPEN” anyway he offered to let the RSP know but I said I would rather do it myself.  Anyway she said it was an easy fix and sorry they hadn’t thought of it. But I’m tell’n ya what-it crushed me. It’s really probably my fault for pretending like I’m fine-but, I’m just doing the best I can. 

And hey—look at this little crinkle nose smile! I don’t know why he’s been doing it so much lately but I have a lot to be thankful for!! 

Tuesday we went out to Edina to the Dutch Garden Nursery and bought some apple trees. It was a fun little place and by time we got out there we decided we better just go for it. We’ve wanted to do fruit trees for a while now and my moms siblings insisted on getting us some. They’re the best! It was very nice of them and we are excited!!! Hopefully we get a few apples next year but they said it usually takes 3 years before they really start producing. 

My mom thought me digging while he watched/messed with his phone was pretty funny but really he had a meeting or class or something in just a few minutes from then I just wanted him to make sure he was good with where I’d decided to put them. 





We cashed in on a little more Grama time. A little come follow me watching and reading Colt his library book. 

The slushees and donuts and that kinda of fun stuff when Grama pics ya up from school are not pictured. Darn. Thursday morning we had to say goodbye.  



Man that rips Tanners heart up every time—but I totally get him. The poor kid is me emotionally! I just try not to say much but to mostly just snuggle him when he’s sad...if he’ll let me. Sometimes he’s just too mad!! 

I got some more cute pics from his teacher  this week 😊



Let’s see so Thursday Colt had soccer and the big boys had piano so not only did we hang out at the Pettit’s for piano they invited us to stay and eat dinner and then we all walked to soccer -it was really fun. And perfect to have a fun day with friends to hopefully distract from the Grama’s gone blues. Tan ended up still melting down and poor Ben got the worst of it-yikes! 

And Grama ended up in a snow storm in Colorado! What a day!  

Today’s cemetery adventures: Tan shooting his bow and Seth then digging with his new shovel and rake. 

Seth spotted the garden tools at the nursery the other day he said “me have it” I said “no you don’t need it” then he said “me dig Riz’s grave” ok you have my number-you’re here-you can have anything you want if you tell me it’s for there. (And really after I got so shook up Sunday I tried a little retail therapy -not like I thought it would work- but new pants for me, new hoodies for Isaac, some random others things I’m sure we didn’t need. Sure Sethy-you can have the garden tools!) 

While we were at the cemetery we got the sad but really happy news that Sister Rogers passed away.

She wanted to die with Bro Rogers-that was her plan-but it didn’t work that way. As it was she got about a month back with her children in Oregon and those two only had to be apart for 4 1/2 months-not bad. They were such wonderful people and did so much good. They both ended up both sharing their testimonies right before they died. Pretty cool.  I feel blessed to have known them and blessed to have heard those testimonies! 

Today’s fun hookups from our buddy Jacoby

And teaching Seth how to use the salt gun-of course. 

Oh and I mowed a little today but the dang thing started smoking! So I need Isaac to work his magic, cuz there is lots to mow!!

Bout it.