The Ison's: Blog Therapy—this one’s a doozy

I haven’t totally figured out why but I think Kirksville is a pretty special place. There are so many families here that are so close to our hearts the Moody‘s were like that. The Hilton‘s are like that! We sat behind them our first week at church Baydon was just starting his second year of medical school and they’ve been able to stay and he’s just finishing up residency here now. This week we got the shattering news that their little boy passed away-he had anacephaly so his brain hadn’t developed and would not sustain his life. I feel like they should’ve known (what the heck was going on with that anatomy scan? —they knew he was a boy so I assumed they had one. Anyway it wouldn’t have changed the outcome just they could have prepared-that would have been awful too though) but it was completely unexpected it has been quite the emotion stirring week. I am heartbroken for them, I want to be a good support person for them, but I’m really only 21 months ahead of them on a very hard -oh especially at the start- but very hard and also very spiritual journey. And admittedly I’m dealing with some upheaval of my own! People keep asking what they can do for them-nothing! Absolutely nothing! Pray, just pray, so dang hard-for her aching empty arms, that they’ll get some sleep, for her kids who don’t get that little brother in this life, or her husband that’s going to have to try to hold things together while she just can’t! Ug.

They are moving next summer but at least for now they laid Caleb’s little body to rest right by Riz. And with that side of things I do feel like we’ve been able to help a little. I picked up the casket-not easy but Isaac wasn’t around (I’ll get to that story) and there was a small window so that left me. I just had to think of it as a small way to serve. And he dug the grave. I’m sure he’s helped in other ways too.

I remember so vividly the conversations I’ve had with them over the last two years too.

Somehow there was a rest of the week…I think.

I guess I should start there.

Saturday Tanner had basketball. He worries so much about doing things exactly right but he needs to just play! Oh and he does this flappy arm thing on defense-oh it’s terrible cuz his whole body is going up and down with his arms—it drives me bonkers. But he does better if I’m the cheering mom not the coach. Sometimes I remember that better than others😬

But basketball was awful! Absolutely horrible we played my friend Cassie‘s daughters team and I was embarrassed to be on our team! They don’t keep track of the score in YMCA ball but if I am guessing we probably won by 80!! I was appalled surely there are things that we can do to make ourselves better without running the score up like that. So I stewed about it for three days then I went to practice with a whole list of suggestions. Only our head coach wasn’t there because he had a school board meeting— that’s another thing I’m like look man you’re on the school board you represent the values of the entire community and you look like a horses butt! But I gave the assistant coaches my ideas and they were cool and receptive. So we’ll see. Its a dad‘s club but I should have just inserted myself into the middle of it in the moment because somebody should’ve! But when I talked to them I just said thank you for coaching I appreciate it I just want to share some ideas with you and invite you to try them. My list of the ideas were things like: we could try to make a game speed layup with our weak hand. (Your horses shouldn’t really be touching the ball with their strong hand in a game like that) or how about we never once scored on a post entry passed I know he didn’t need to but at some point they will need to do that or be able to make an outlet pass. Long term you’re not gonna want your big man rebounding it and dribbling at the length of the floor—so anyways I just feel like they could have done a lot of things differently—even just make them follow instructions: I want this person to get the ball in this place and get this shot! But it wasn’t like that—why not????? And people like Tanner who aren’t going to touch the ball in there more competitive games (Tanner is not getting any better playing with these guys…) but why not let him dribble it up? I don’t know but it was awful!

Oh and they don’t call double dribbles or travels or anything — but they should’ve called everything on our team !! so disaster is an understatement!

Bla-waste of a morning!

Oh and remember I said Addi found her tongue😛❤️

I’m teaching RS Sunday so I have lots of little things like this on my phone—I figure if people don’t read the talk before the lesson I can at least get some of it to them via memes and stuff …but since I don’t do social media I have to send them to the Relief Society President and have her post them. Ha! Thanks Jane.

Monday Addi turned 6 months!!! We’ll call having the students over her 1/2 birthday party! Holy cow I chopped and cut and made seasoning all day long. When I indicated to Isaac that he was causing me a lot of stress he was like “just don’t worry about it you weren’t even here last year” I answered “well… but all the food was still here and ready to go last year!” 🤯 He’s crazy! But I got it all done-phew-and then after school we hung out with a Pettits, I was peacefully enjoying visiting with my friend and he was frantically running around trying to finish last minute preparations-he called 3 or 4 times- I was like ha-poetic justice. 😉 Cannon went to basketball (which I don’t have to coach -that’s fantastic-thanks for the out Addster) and then we came home and hung out with the students afterwards. They are good kids! We enjoy having them over, it’s just a lot of work! This is how many were left when I thought to take a picture.

Colt was pumped he won the hide’n seek game.

Then a few random pics-I love scripture pics, Isaacs been trying to get the kids to help more, and maybe we start letting them drive on the dirt road too soon but she never cries -I swear she’s like the perfect baby-but she was screaming so I got her out…

Then Tuesday

Oh Tuesday. Isaac got Cannon out of school early and that’s actually when he got the news from Baydon—Cannon told me he was with him when he found out. But the 3 of them (Isaac Cannon & Seth) took the Golden Goose down to Kansas City with a plan to load the excavator on the lowboy (it’s an oversized load so they couldn’t drive it at night-I had no idea there were rules about such things) but they were going to load it up. Then leave it there then pull the belly dump back. Because he bought a belly dump too. So I get this picture.

And I don’t hear from them again until after the Bible class. The boys had my phone during class. Well he had text me to call him. So I did and that’s when he tells me he needs me to go get the casket because the Hilton’s want to get out of the hospital the next morning. I asked if I needed to go get it the next morning and he said “no tonight” the funeral home people had a funeral and are going to be in Columbia the next day and that they went to bed at 10. So we went -right then- and I definitely broke down when I was telling Colt and Tanner where we were going and why. Yikes, but I think it’s ok to never be ok in this life. Anyway we got there about 8:40 picked up a casket exactly like Israel’s and headed home.

By time I got home and everyone to bed it was 10:30 so I called Isaac-no answer-so I went to bed thinking he’d be home by midnight.

Silly me.

One of the flashback things in all of this is I haven’t been able to sleep. So I was just half awake up tossing and turning when I looked at my watch at it was 2:30–I decided I better call. So I called and he answered! I asked if they were almost here? He said no. So I asked if they’d had trouble-he says all kinds of trouble.

Seriously this 2:30AM call is the first I’d heard of any of it! But I guess the had to go to the John Deere dealership to get a key for the excavator-the kenworth sealership to get a solenoid??? Then trying to get out of the yard they got stuck-like stuck stuck! I guess they tried everything either Cannon or Isaac could think of (except for unload it pull out and load it back which was my first thought—he said they probably should have) anyway they got it it eventually somehow—he said like 3 inches at a time for the length of that lowboy deck doing something with the raising then hydraulics??? I dunno but they didn’t go get the belly dump they were coming back empty. “Just limping it along” he said. So I asked him (this is the 2:30 call) if he wanted me to just load up kids and come get him. He was still 20 miles from the turn off to Cameron (which is 2 hours away…Kansas City is just a little less than 3) he said no if he could get it home he’d prefer to work on it here-I asked how fast he was going and mentally tried to figure out when I would need to leave here to make sure he got home in time to teach his 11:30 class. At 5:30 I get a text that said they were in Bevier and that I didn’t need to rush to come get them. I didn’t know if that meant come but don’t rush or don’t come cuz they’re that far they’d make it. So I called. It meant come. I guess he’d had to roll start it a couple times 😳 and who knows what but at 5:30 he crawled back in the sleeper with Seth and Cannon. I gathered up made lunches for the boys here that were going to school fed Addi and we headed on the rescue mission oh and I was under the impression they needed the casket at the hospital so I text Baydon -so early- and tell him I can either bring it now (6:00) or at 8:00 or Isaac can bring it at 9:00–or after. Later Isaac told me “they’re just doing what we did” and they brought his little body home and put it in the casket there. Isaac took it by I had just text Baydon back (later) and said Isaac will handle sorry it for the confusion “he was just out of town this morning” so if they needed sooner I would’ve brought it, and that we love then and we’re praying for them.

Anyway got down to them got’m got Colt and Tan back to school Cannon and Isaac came home and showered before they headed back in.

All normal in an Isaac family adventure right?

Good heavens!

Wednesday Isaac told me if we were ok with it they would like to lay Caleb’s little body to rest by Riz. We were great with it and I went over and picked the spot.

Not long ago while we were studying Isaiah in Sunday school I ended up sharing the story of them redoing the artwork in the Nauvoo temple and the mom looking at the grave. (it’s says do not copy so I can’t but look it up! It’s called Blessed Honored Pioneer or something like that and it’s by Elspeth Young.) Anyway I talked about that painting at the scripture that went with it

And my eyes might have leaked a little…I think Brittany still served in YW then but I remember seeing Baydon attentively listening to comment…and I knew they needed part of the tree.

So here is Caleb’s spot.

Yesterday morning Isaac dug the hole. Sethy wanted to go over so I thought oh sure. Wow! I didn’t get to see Isaac dig Riz’s but I made him stop and hold me for a minute while he did Caleb’s. It was overwhelming just knowing he’d done it before. Because they plan on moving him his needed to be a little bigger too. My friend Stephanie made sure they had flowers and I put vinyl on the shovel that said “Covenants to Caleb” and got out of there just before the first people showed up. Isaac went because he was the Bishop but we really liked ours being just family so I didn’t go. But there’s was different they zoomed it (I didn’t know I probably would have watched it) they invited the nurses we had some of the same ones. I realized it was not such a private service when our relief society messaged me and said “you buried Riz in a beautiful spot”

Anyway oh wait I’m driving to place the flowers and shovel right before it and I see this:

And this one —the graveside service is supposed to start 5 min from when I take this pic!! The guy he paid to haul it up here was cool though-he unloaded for him then hooked back up to the lowboy and hauled it up our driveway. And the graveside started about a half our late anyway.

I went to Michaila’s after I picked up kids and told her pretty much everything I’ve written here cuz she’s basically my counselor. Oh and because we had planned to let the kids play one man dodgeball at the church that day until I realized there was a luncheon!! 🤦🏼‍♀️ Whoops.

But that was that-what a week right?

I don’t know if it was a c-section or not but I can’t imagine Brittany staying in the hospital as long as she did if it wasn’t. So this morning I took Rizzy’s bench over to the cemetery so if they go she can at least sit down. We bought it for over there but it’s just been on our porch for a year and a half. But when I got over there I thought oh wow-I would have tried to come to the graveside just to be supportive but it’s a good thing I didn’t!!!! Too hard. Way too hard.

Today I went to Tanners Veterans Day assembly. it was darling!